The best thing in the world August 2, 2008
Posted by Sharny in : Life, Ramble, Thoughts , trackbackIt’s worth warning that this post is likely to be an ill conceived and put together load of rubbish. However, it remains truthful in defining my desires and that is all I really want to convey.
The best thing in the world is far from universal, for some it may be success or riches for others, a big family and loving spouse.
I guess really, I’m not all that far away from those standard dreams, except perhaps in how specific I am.
I know that really, the chances of the best thing in the world happening are low but I also know that I’m going to do everything I can to make them happen.
So what is it then? What is the best thing in the world?
It’s a future, surrounded by my friends, our families intertwined. It’s difficult for me to describe exactly what’s in my head when it comes to this but I’m going to try.
The best thing in the world starts with the preservation of what I have now. What that is may well be a few steps away from perfect, or more specifically, a good few miles accross the county. There are other things but that doesn’t stop life as it is now being the best that it has ever been. I don’t want to lose any of that and for the moment I don’t see any obvious reasons why it would be lost. This is, of course, something I have thought about, I can’t dream of the best thing in the world if I can see obvious road blocks, if that thing is out of reach.
Of course, there are always unpredictable events, things that test people beyond the strains of day to day life. All I can do when it comes to these occasions is to fight as best and hard as I know how to maintain things.
Given that foundation, I want to grow something special. So far, I’ve seen a decent chunk of it in my head. When those images flood my mind, I can’t help but feel excitement and happiness that I’m not sure I ever knew existed. The people who have come into definition in less than the past half year are nothing less than family to me. Of course, I have blood relatives but unlike some people, they aren’t really located anywhere. My actual family have spread themselves accross the globe. Kinda handy if I ever want to go traveling but to feel a sense of unity and home it’s not so good. So a guy has to think on his feet.
There’s a reason why we’ve assigned each other roles in our group family and ultimately it comes down to a feeling of family. I have no other better way to describe these people and I can’t think of anything more appropriate. It almost seems to hasty, and in some ways it is. I just did the maths, on average I’ve known each person 4.25 years, although not been friends with them for all of that period. It’s long enough I think.
I have been tentative with this so far because I’ve jumped to conclusions about stuff like this in the past and ended up disappointed but barring anyone holding up large lies I don’t think anyone has intentions of breaking off from this.
For all I’ve said so far I’ve not really said much about the best thing in the world. Or at least, it might not seem that way. Most of what the best thing in the world comes down to preservation and my biggest fear is to lose what has been given.
But anyway, I’ll continue on as if I get my way, as if things don’t go wrong.
In the nearer future, the best thing in the world involves doing things. Traveling, playing music and relaxing in various locations. One thing I really want to get going is a Skiing trip. It’s gonna have to wait a few years due to the ongoing grip of parents. One of the downsides of hanging around with people mostly younger than you is that you can do things way before they can although honestly it’s more down to how relaxed the parents are. I will get us out there though, there’s little more I want to share with my friends than skiing. The closest of trip possibilities comes next summer, which I really wish was this summer since I’m getting some serious beach cravings but a guy can’t have everything.
I would like for opium toad to be established enough for us to be able to travel around playing music but I don’t really expect any fame or fortune on a large scaled. It would be nice, as a band we’ve agreed we want to take it as far as we can, it’s just a matter of how far that limit is.
That’s part one of the best thing in the world I suppose, although I never really thought about it like that.
The next part is probably the most important. It involves the rest of my life really. The best thing in the world is to keep my friends to close, to find the perfect girl, to have kids and be uncle to the children of all my brothers and sisters. It’s quite a lot isn’t it? I get the feeling these aren’t the normal thoughts of a nearly 18 year old.
It’s difficult to really describe in any more detail than that, it’s not like these images come with a handbook. They are just what I want from life, getting them may prove more difficult.
What I would really love to do is to create a community in itself, containing our intertwined families, giving our children people and places to call home, much larger than that of your average child.
In an ideal world, we would find more people to join our group of varying nationalities, backgrounds and beliefs but even if the group didn’t change at all between now and this future I would still consider it to be the best thing in the world.
I’m not sure there is a great deal more to say on the subject, or more specifically there’s probably a whole load I could say but mentioning anything more specific is getting into the realms of the purely silly.
Anyone reading this would have a right to be skeptical about the possibility of this happening and yes, it is rare. But it does happen.
Why not us?
Tagged as: Friends, Future, Hope, Life, Ramble, Thoughts
Comments»
I love you ^^ <3
All so very true and yes, I totally agree =]
x
Wah? You don’t have any siblings, you crazy man! And what is everyone’s obsession with children? But whatever, if that is what you want, so be it.
Don’t be silly bro, of course I do!
And when it comes to children, I’m not sure I can explain it. Luckily, us child wanters outnumber the likes of you so actually it’s more that you have to explain and not us.
Well, I never said that you are in a minority, but people shouldn’t be criticized for not wanting kids, after all, the world, and britain in particular is already over populated, and don’t forget about all the orphans in the world.
They say the ideal average amount of children per couple is 2.1 kids or something (the .1 to make up for those who don’t have them) in order to keep the population steady, but I say the ideal average is more like 1.5 or close to that, so that future generations can enjoy a fairer share of wealth and resources, encourage ethnic and social diversity (lower population means more incentive for the government to be less strict on immigration), less pressure on the healthcare system, allowing them to focus more on the inevitable, but temporary ageing population of our generation and less pressure on education, allowing children from a poorer background to be given a better chance at success.
Wow, this comment is longer than I intended, I may have to steal it (it’s not stealing if I made it) for my blog… although it isn’t that long, I could extend my views on the subject and elaborate some more on certain points.
Also, I’m not your brother, I never understood the idea of brotherhood being more influential than friendship, a genetic bond shouldn’t decide who you support, and who you trust and enjoy spending your time with, speaking as a brother myself, I would probably be more likely to stand by my friends than my siblings. The only genetic relations I owe anything to are my parents for raising me, and that’s their own fault, if they aren’t happy with how I turned out, they could have aborted me or chosen not to have children, or put me up for adoption, but it was their choice and they are stuck with me.
The want for children has nothing to do with actual benefit to the population or anything, it’s a purely selfish thing. I want children because I want children, it has nothing to do with population. Ultimately our population is gonna start dropping soon anyway, regardless of what I do because that’s just the ways these things happen.
I think the point behind the strength of the bond of blood is that it can never be broken, friendship may mean more in the short term but the idea of family is that they can never go away, even if you have fallings out family is expected to take you back in later time, perhaps even if they still don’t like you. These aren’t really the definitions I personally go by but it’s the easiest way to describe the bonds that I feel to the outside. If I were to say to a stranger you guys are like my family they would likely see it as a stronger bond than if I said you guys are my best friends. The concept of the strength of family is something that society seems to be slowly losing, partially due to the fewer children parents are having, which I consider a loss to society. That’s why I want our families to grow near to each other, to see each other as allies by default, to have something that most other people just don’t get.
Family is different to me. Family isn’t just that thing you’re born into. Family deserves a choice. I consider anyone I love as my family. [Although exceptions are made for that rediculous THING called 'Brother']. I consider you guys my family. It makes sense that when you call someone your family, you don’t mean blood- you mean it in ties stronger than blood. Such as you know, taking a bullet for that person etc. That’s what family is meant to mean, love and trust and care. I mean, fair enough I love my mum. But I wouldn’t pick her as a friend, quite frankly. Friends are the family you weren’t given, but have the right to choose. Friends are there because they WANT to be, not because they feel obliged by these ’shackles’ called Family. Fair enough there is the concept of blood- but Sharny, if a child is the result of a rape, how does that mean the father is tied to the child? Having kids is a personal choice. But sooner or later, almost everyone gets the urges to have children. It’s natural. We’re born to create, it’s basic evolution. We’d would have all died out eons ago otherwise. If you can support a child in a loving home, who gives a toss about how many you’re ‘allowed’? There should be no ‘ideal’ amount of children. Although I do agree that there should be better options for orphans being adopted. Plus, having babies is fun. It’s a hard and thankless job, but nothing is better than raising a little bit of you and the person you love and watching it flourish into something amazing. It’s just astounding when you think about how strong bonds are really. I agree with Sharny- or rather I share his wish. I want us all to grow up near eachother, coz you guys, I consider as my family. In every sense of the word. =] <3
See, I disagree, I hold no emotional attachment to the words brother, or sister or whatever, and I would rather not classify my friends in this way as it is technically incorrect, the only weight those words has is to define my genetic relationship with another human, I don’t disagree with you about your dream of everyone’s children having close friends growing up and whatever, but I don’t see what false family titles have to do with this. Family isn’t something higher or special, it is just a word, and a classification.
I also disagree with you that you think it is unfortunate to loose the influence of the family bonds in society, the only thing this allows is that it restricts the opportunities of someone born into a less fortunate or influential family, in fact what you are suggesting should go against this, as we would be creating something new, higher than friendship, different from family bonds, which is good, and it shouldn’t be tainted by trying to classify it with an existing system which should be use primarily and purely for the description of biological connections. I would even go as far as to say that I would feel uncomfortable describing an adopted child in the same way as a genetic child, not because I think the connection between the adopter and the adopted child is any less than one between the child and (biological)parent, but because it is a different one, and incorrect in my eyes.
Also, on the ideal children thing, was to do with the economic stability of the country, I wasn’t trying to say that people shouldn’t be allowed more children, just that less children would be better for the country in the long run, in my opinion.
I hope I don’t insult either of you by rejecting what you consider, but I just want to make it clear, I don’t see any of you as family, not because I don’t care about you, because I do, but because for me I have no emotional connection to the words, and Katt, you say that friends are there because they want to be, for me that makes the superior to family, who feel they should be obliged to be there, and so to call them family would in a way be degrading them to a small extent.
I feel lucky that my “core” family (parents and siblings) live a distance away from my extended family, because it gives me the option to have a connection with these people if I choose to. After I move out I think it will be very unlikely for me to ever see any of my cousins or my grandparents, or my uncles or aunties again, which quite frankly is a relief, as I don’t really care about or know any of these people very well and don’t feel any connection with them other than a biological one, and I am quite happy to completely loose contact with any member of my family outside my closest genetic relations.
Friends being the family you choose does make them above family yes but also gives them the option to unchoose. By forcing you to be my family it stops you from being able to run away. The interesting thing is, everyone has a different experience of the power of family, to some people it is extremely important, whereas others like you Chris, look upon family with a great deal of apathy.
From wikipedia: “Family denotes a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, and co-residence. Although the concept of consanguinity originally referred to relations by “blood,” many anthropologists have argued that one must understand the notion of “blood” metaphorically, and that many societies understand ‘family’ through other concepts rather than through genetic distance.” The point behind this being that family is whoever you are close to and it has been that way for a long time, so by defining us as family we aren’t trying to classify what we have wrongly.
Arguably what I’m really seeking to create is a modern form of a tribe, a group of families who feel themselves connected to the higher community between each other but at the moment, all we really have is the original group. You can call it what you want, the family definition is more for those that find it easier to understand than those who don’t. If you don’t see family as something special then it should make no difference to you, you can see it as close friends. But if the concept of friendships like these is alien to you but you do understand the idea of a big and close family, then the family definition will help to define what we have. That’s all it really is, no one is trying to force this definition upon you.
[...] case you hadn’t guessed, this post is a follow up to my last post “The best thing in the world“. My idea here is to look at it in a more realistic way, to look at the problems associated [...]